You know what REALLY pains me. To say the word 'Starburst'.Now, if I happen to want to read Starburst magazine, I have no trouble with it. But if what I'm really after are the fruity chewy sweets wrapped in multi coloured wrappers, I just cant say it.
Because to me, they will always be Opal Fruits.
Now, don't get me started on how they combined the individual lemon and lime favoured ones to make lemon /lime Opal Fruits. That's bad enough.
But when I eat into an Opal Fruit, it does not seem to me that a star is bursting in my mouth.
They are Opaline in appearance, and fruity. They are OPAL FRUITS.
Never will I enter a store and ask for Starbursts. And never will I ask you for any.
I have adopted the Snickers bar over the Marathon. But I am not prepared to change the names of my comestibles anymore.
What the hell is Cushelle? It will always be Ch-ch-ch-ch- Charmin arse wipe. And the lemon for pancakes is a JIF lemon, just like the oven cleaner JIF. I'm not even sure what Cif oven cleaner is.
And its all down to those fucking Americans re-branding our products. What makes them so special? Lets make them change the name of a few things!
They are, and will always be Opal Fruits. For I am a rational, traditional, Briton.
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